So… I’m trying Juicing now.

Posted: 12/28/2012 in Cooking, Entertainment, Health, News, Reviews
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I’ve been interested in juicing for quite some time.  For one thing, I like fruit and vegetable juices, for another, I keep hearing about the ‘massive benefits’ of juicing.  One… enthusiast (being polite here, gimme a break) was ranting on the television the other day about how cooking destroys the good enzymes and juicing is the only way to get them.  I thought about that as I was nibbling on a raw carrot.  You know, juicing it. With my teeth.

The wife gave me a juicer for Christmas, and I’ve already been ribbed a few times about how I got her a Kimber Custom II and she got me a juicer, but I’ve been wanting one for quiet some time, so I’m happy. (Besides, I get to shoot and clean the Kimber, so it’s all good.)


I’ve started looking at recipes for the juicer, and quite a few of the ones I’ve read are fine and dandy EXCEPT for one ingredient.  Like ‘Apples, Mangoes, Oranges, Lemons, and spinach!’   Ok.  I like all of those. Except the thought of SPINACH juice combined with LEMONS AND MANGOES makes me want to nail my tongue to the back of garbage truck, because I think that would taste better.

As a quick test run this afternoon, I juiced one orange and one apple, and made several important discoveries.

  • No matter how splattered and opaque the top becomes, pulling the feeder tool out and looking down the feed chute to see if you need to add more fruit is both funny and rough on the glasses. *SPLAT*
  • It takes a whole orange, and a whole apple, to make enough juice for four or five gulps.  Which isn’t much in my book.
  • Orange seeds sound like the Mayan Apocalypse until they make their way to the waste chute.
  • Even my wife (not a vegetable or fruit fan) likes the apple/orange juice combo, though she says ‘it needs Vodka.’
  • Oranges are a pain in the ass, unless I’m missing something and I’m supposed to juice the peel too.
  • Black & Decker didn’t feel they should spend the $.30 to add even a single recipe or piece of advice in the juicer, just basic instructions.
  • I picked up apples, kale, celery, carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes at the store today, juicing might just be more expensive than liposuction.

Wish me luck, or at least massively humorous failure, since I’ll be sure to share either one here.




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